Haley Goes to Narnia
by rbj2001
Summary: Aslan creates a Eustace robot after he fails to return dragon Eustace to a human form.Meanwhile Grampa acquires a surplus X15 rocket plane
1. Haley Goes to Narnia

Haley Goes to Narnia

It all began when Aslan found he couldn't return Dragon Eustace to a human boy.

So he put the dragon under a deep sleep and hid it in a cave on Dragon Island.

Then he built a robot Eustace Scrub and sent the robot back to the Dawn Treader.He held

a control box in his paws and told the robot what to do and say.

Years later when everyone was killed Aslan found himself staring at robot Eustace once

again.The lion stared in astonishment as the robot battled one hundred dwarves and things.

Finally Aslan destroyed Narnia and lead the dead people and the robot Eustace into true

Narnia.Meanwhile the real Eustace,still a dragon,snuck through the door into Narnia and

went his way.

Years passed and robot Eustace began to act more erratically.Aslan pointed the

control box at the robot and beams of light flashed out of his eyes but the robot did what it

jolly well pleased.

Finally the robot went bad and began saying

" Destroy squeaalllerrrr... Destroy...beep fizzzle Destroy...crackle"

as it ripped trees out of the ground and began tossing them at all the terrified

Narnians.

All the Narnians screamed

" Aslan do something"

and the lion advanced bravely apon the defective robot,prepared to sacrifice his life

to save true Narnia.

, a few houra earlier 

Grampa had just bought a surplus X-15 rocket plane and Jake,Haley and he had

spent hours hauling it to the roof of the building.

Then they all got in,closed the canopy and

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Ignition

The rocket plane blasted off the roof and flew through a wormhole that had magically

appeared.Haley squealed with delight,Jake looked petrified and Grampa was too

busy handling the controls and staring at the instruments to notice much more.

They had flown into true Narnia and Haley excitedly pointed at the lion down below on the

ground.

A robot Eustace was advancing on the noble lion still saying

" Destroy Destroy Destroy"

Haley immediately grabbed the controls and sent the X 15 plunging towards

the ground.Grampa squealed,Jake fainted and there was a loud

" THUMP"

just before the plane shot up off the ground again.

Grampa slowly opened his eyes and found himself staring into the face of a terrified

panting lion that lay sprawled on top of the nose of the rocket plane.

Slowly the lion opened its eyes,looked down and quickly closed them again.

There was a scratching sound as Aslan began sliding off the plane and as Haley watched in

horror the son of the Emperor Across the Ocean fell off and plunged towards the ground

thirty thousand feet below.

Suddenly a big green dragon darted up from the forest and caught Aslan before the

lion went

" SPLAT"

It was the Dragon Eustace no less.

Haley let Grampa have the controls back and Grampa landed the rocket plane

near the spot where the dragon was reviving a unconsious lion.

They made their introductions,while off in the distance they could hear the sounds of

trees being yanked out of the ground and

" screee crackle Destroy Destroy buzzzz..."


	2. Attack of the Klingons

Attack of the Bare chested Klingons

Things in true Naria went from bad to worse.Robot Eustace knocked down

King Caspians castle,revealing all the booze Aslan had been hiding from his

subjects.

Soon the robot marched off and the dwarves ransacked the castle and found the

" good stuff".

It wasn't long before other Narnians were fleeing towards the emergency escape

door,which lead to Cultus Creek,Earth.

Aslan was still out,so Eustace the dragon soon found himself joining the

refugees fleeing to Cultus Creek.

Meanwhile Grampa,haley and Jake switched to dragon form and dragged the

rocket plane through the doorway.They found themselves in a sunny farm field

a few miles north of Lake Erie.

The mexican mennonite farmers just stood there and watched as centaurs,satyrs

stars,dragons and human folk popped out of a door that had appeared in the air.

Soon the robot returned and the drunken dwarves hauled all the talking beasts

with them out of true Narnia.

Just before the robot got to the door the last Narnian slammed the door

shut behind her.

On the other side came the muffled banging

" bang bang bang destroy destroy bang"

Meanwhile Histh the omnipotent Mousetrap Dragon God had just become a

Star Trek fan and a Tarzan fan.

This was very bad as with a blink of her red eyes she brought the Klingon ship

Lord Carnavon into Earth orbit.

Captain Orf was a bit surprised to find he and his crew were all running around in

loin cloths,but soon got back to work scanning the Earths surface

for intelligent life.

Washington DC came up negative,but a little place just north of lake Erie

proved more rewarding.Besides two strong aignals indicating the prescense

of deities,there also appeared to be large crowds of aliens in a farm field.

So the Lord Carnavon swooped down and the Klingons got ready to

make first contact.

Unfortuneately a parade had been going on when robot Eustace went beserk

and there was a large crowd of seven foot talking lizard girls waving pompoms and in

their cheerleader outfits in that crowd of Narnian refugees.

While Haley and Eustace the dragon looked on in astonishment,a crew

of seven foot tall loincloth wearing Klingons charged out of the ship and started

chasing the lizardy Earth women about the field.

Danny Fenton and Sam Manson meanwhile were flying in Airforce One

somewhere above Lake Erie.Sams dad was a big contributor to president

Bush's reelection campaign.

When his daughter and Danny Fenton finally decided to tie the knot her dad

called in his chips and got Bush to lend his plane and come along for the wedding.

It was going to be a double ceremony,as Tucker and the Dragon Princess

had also decided to get married.That could be a problem as the Dragon Princess

had once been Jake Long's girlfriend.

The Princess had made enquiries and discovered most dragons got

married in the huge complex under Cultus Creek.Hence they had all

been heading towards Cultius Creek where President Bush would marry Danny

and Sam and Histh the Mousetrap Goddess would marry Tucker and the Dragon

Princess.

However the Klingon warbird had come down too quickly and Airforce One

had been forced to land in the water just offshore.

Seeing that her dream wedding had been ruined the Princess soon

grew angry,then big and scaly.

It was a big blue dragon that smashed open the hatch,with a speechless

Tucker held tightly in one huge paw.

The crowd of Narnians noticed the sinking plane and some mermaids leapt

over the one hundred foot cliff and rescued the President and the dark sunglass

wearing Secret Service Agents.

Danny Phantom rescued Sam and her dad and the rest of the wedding guests

found themselves rescued by a talking mouse piloting a 18 foot sailboat

named the Cara Ann.

Meanwhile Histh was down in the caverns,getting the place just right for the

double wedding.The 30 foot tall black dragon had forgotten all about

the Klingons she'd brought into the world.

The Klingons meanwhile were heading triumphantly bac to their

spaceship,with screaming Narnian women banging on the backs of the semi clothed

brutes that they were draped over the shoulders of.


	3. Cultus Creek Wedding

A Wedding in Cultus Creek

The klingons were rushing bac to the Lord Carnavon when they

realized they were half naked,the Earther women were banging on their

backs with pom poms and they were heading towards a crowd of centaurs,mermaids and

talking beasts.

Nearby lay a field of tulips being grown for a nursery so they

detoured and tiptoed through the tulips.

Suddenly the door to Narnia burst open and out stepped robot Eustace.Behind

the robot could be seen the flames and smoke of smashed true Narnia.

The robot marched to the spaceship,got in and a few seconds later the

Lord Carnavon rose off the ground and flew off into space.

Meanwhile the Dragon Princess had flown off to Toronto where she stood

on top of the CN Tower,roaring,spitting flame and waving Tucker about in one paw.

Soon the trolls arrived in the ghost Airwolf helicopters and buzzed the enraged

screeching dragon.

Down in the caverns Histh was getting everything ready for the double

wedding when she realized something was missing.The wedding parties and the

guests.

She sensed most of them were above ground,but the Dragon Princess and

Tucker were a hundred miles away in Toronto.

She wiggled her snout and in a flash the CN Tower,with the dragon and Tucker

on top,had vanished from Toronto and reappeared in Cultus Creek.

Which Danny Phantom hadn't been expecting.He flew into the tower and both

him and his bride to be plunged towards the ground.

At that Jake and Eustace leapt into the air and rescued Danny and Sam.

President George Bush beforehand had been landed by Reepicheep,who was now

leading the President of the United States to the great lion Aslan.

Reepicheep had been explaining that Christ the Saviour was really Aslan,

while Bush argued just as strongly that Aslan was really Christ the Saviour.

Then Histh the Mousetrap Goddess wiggled her nose,a few million tons of

concrete and steel got relocated in the blink of a eye,and both the man and the

mouse forgot all about the lion.

Meanwhile Aslan lay in a sunny grassy farm field,thumping his tail and dreaming

of pursuing antelope in the plains of Africa.

Jake carried a unconscious Danny down the tunnel entrances into the caverns

below,soon followed by everyone else,including the startled restauranteers in the

CN Tower.

Histh insisted that she be allowed to take part in the wedding procession for

Tucker and the Dragon Princess,and no one wanted to argue against her joining.

Meanwhile cool water was splashed on the comatose Danny but to no avail.

In desperation Jake turned to the Klingons ,hoping they'd know a trick or two.

Captain Orf pulled out a medical tricorder ,aimed it at Danny's head

and soon the bridegroom was up and about .

Aslan magically appeared,and glowered at Histh,who glowered back at him.

You could hear the tension in the air as the two omnipotent deities got ready

for a catfight.President Bush sensed a wonderful opportunity for advancement and

stepped between the two and got them to calm down.

Since Histh had appeared in Tucker and the Princess's party

it was only fitting that Aslan should walk down the line in the wedding of Danny

and Sam.

And so it was.

The " I do"'s were said and everyone partyed and drank the night away.

The End


End file.
